Under the skin

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Under the skin

She was the most beautiful girl at the school. She had always been pretty. Not just common pretty, but gorgeous. Her eyes were green and deep, and they had a glow. She was tall, but not too tall, just the right size. That she’d be a model wasn’t a surprise for anyone, but how it ended was!

She had always been happy, always smiled. You could’ve “expected” that she would act like a snob, but she didn’t. She never did.

The day after her 17th birthday, her mum drove her to her agency. They wanted her to travel to New York and take some photos over there. So she went to USA, and got famous. She went to all the awards, all the important people went to. One night, a man came to her. She knew who he was. One of the most important people in the modelling world. John Ford, his name was. Only the best got a contract with him. She knew that getting a contract with him would be hard, which made her want it even more. No matter what. They started talking, but he wasn’t convinced. He didn’t want her. “Too European”, he said. She wanted to cry. She felt ugly, and got a feeling to throw up. As soon as she came home, she went to the toilet with tears in her eyes.

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She turned 18, and her mum went back home. Now she was alone, alone in New York, and she still craved for that contract. Now she did not want it for the modelling, but so she again could feel pretty. She kept throwing up. And she was now just a shadow of herself. She hided it under big clothes, so know one knew. No one could know about it. She went to Fords bureau several times, and all the times he said no.

She got more and more unhappy. She couldn’t understand it. If everyone said she was so pretty, then why did he not want her? The one person, who she really wanted to like her, didn’t.

After a little while, her mum came back. When she saw her, how thin she had gotten, she took her back to Europe. But it was too late. She had been obsessed of getting perfect, that she now weighted 40 kilos. And she kept on starving herself. Not because of John Ford anymore, but because it had become a habit. She didn’t want to eat. She could not eat! Her parents took her to her to a clinic, where she stayed for some months. She started gaining weight, but when she got home, she started losing weight again. They took her back to the clinic, she took on weight, and when she got home, she lost weight. It happened 5 times, until everybody realized that the only way was to let her live at the clinic. But she didn’t want to. Neither did her parents.

She kept on losing weight, and she never got out of it. Her dream of getting perfect made her ruin herself…

Still, a lot of young people, elder too, ruin themselves, in their desire of getting perfect. Often, it’s women, but a lot of men are starting to get anorexia and bulimia as well. It’s terrifying to see, how much they hurt themselves, and some of them don’t even know!

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