5/04/2012

crash

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Love is really the only thing that matters in life. Most don’t follow this, they follow money. All people tend to try and care about these days is money. Most have love in there life, so they don’t realize that it is the real reason. I am only one of the few that have realized money is not it.


I am 48 years old, rounding turn four in my IRL car at Indianapolis Super Speedway, not knowing why I am still even racing at this age. I wonder why I am still even alive with all the close calls and mishaps I have had in racing, and the heartache I have lived with. Sometimes I even wish that I had of died in my early years. They were so hard.


The year was 008, I was , and was living in a rotting, falling down house that I had paid 500 dollars for. It had an extremely small bedroom that a bed could not even fit in, let alone just the mattress, so I just slept on several clothes I had left pilled up. It worked. There was no bathroom; supposedly the trees out back were for that. Several times I had encountered wild, rabid animals while back there. In order for me to bathe, I had to go down the street miles to the river. It was horrible. I had failed out of college, mocked by my family and friends for it. Everybody hated me and I felt as if I had nothing else to live for. I had very little money to spend on food, since I was still trying to race cars. If I had sold my car and used it for something more useful like a better home or food, then I would really have no use of that home or food, because racing was all I had left. I had been making a little money here and there from it but it was really not enough to buy anything except for repairs on my car. I thought my life was soon over.


5 years later my life and done a complete 180 degree turn. I had been signed on with a sponsor at the age of 8. They helped me get into a better racing series of where there were actual cash prizes. It was a lot more difficult, but I was up for the challenge, seeing as how nothing could really be more difficult then the way I had been living. My car no longer needed cheap repairs, for I was able to get things fixed right, so they wouldn’t need to be fixed again. I left the 500 dollar house I was in, never looked back, and moved onto a much larger, comfortable house, where a bed actually fit in the bedroom. The bathroom was not outback and to bathe was no longer a mile walk. All I had to do was simply open a door in the house and it was all there. I felt like I was on top of the world. All the other racers laughed and snickered at me, seeing as how they were living in much nicer houses and had beautiful wives. It would not be to long though before I would meet somebody myself.


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Three days after my 0th birthday, the most beautiful woman came strolling through my garage at the race track. She was tall, slender, bright blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, long smooth legs, and had the grace of a cat that had been pampered since it was born. I immediately stared at her. I could not take my eyes off her. She looked over at me and smiled a little, making my heart leap from my chest. I was frozen right where I stood still looking at the doorway she had walked back out through. Not long after I would see her again after a race, and learn that her name was Brittany. We were married a few months later. This forced me into getting a larger house. But with all the earnings I had from my racing, there was plenty to spare for a larger house.


At the age of our house was finished, we had had it custom made for us and us only. It had three bedrooms, was two stories, had two bathrooms, and a large kitchen for her to cook in. She always loved to cook. I was far from where I was just 10 years ago. I no longer even thought about my 500 dollar house, all I could think of was my wife. I often brought up the idea of children, seeing as how many racers came from a racing family and were keeping with the tradition in their children. I wanted to start my own tradition, but my wife would oddly change the subject. I would just write it off, saving it to ask her again at a later time. She was starting to get a little weird though, was always going out late at night with friends.


Five years later, when I was 8, my wife was divorcing me. All those nights she had been going out were not with friends, but with many other guys. She had met a guy at a club one night, and she said they just clicked better than we had. She really didn’t care about me; she only cared about my money that I had made from racing. Even though it wasn’t much, only 00,000, she still tried to take it all. I managed to hang on to most of it since we had no children for it to go to, but she got away with 50,000. I would quickly make this back though.


At the age of 4, I had made all the money back that she had taken, and more. I had managed to just squeeze my way into the IRL league and was now making the big bucks. But money does not buy you everything; for it can’t buy you love. Everyday I would go home to “our” house that had been created for us only. I would just sit in the living room, remembering her, remembering how she smelled, remembering how she looked. She was so beautiful. Nobody could compare to her. I felt lost without her, even though I knew she never cared. I still loved her no matter what, and prayed for her to come back to me some day. She never did.


I am now 48, and wondering what to do know with my life. Without love, there is really no reason to live. That’s what life is really all about, isn’t it? I fly down the front straightaway of the Indianapolis Speedway, reaching a max speed of 0mh. I hesitate for a second and left off the gas as I would regularly do to enter the next turn, but for some reason; my foot hammered the gas back down. The steering wheel didn’t turn, the car didn’t turn. I just hurtled at a high speed straight for the wall. With an extremely loud crash, and explosion of metal, and rubber, I hit the wall. all I see last is a flash of light. As I lay in darkness, I wonder if the flash was from a camera, or from heaven. My eyes would never open again.


In the end of life, all that really matters is how u lived it, not how you were living it in the end. Money is not the only thing that matters, even though people make it that way. Love is all that matters, and without it, there is really nothing to live for. History books were written, but none knew the real reason for my crash.





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